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Our friend D came to visit. He’s very good at discerning the ludicrous in everyday life. He brought me a present, the plastic bag that a new pair of mens underpants came in. I was puzzled at first (as well as blind, because I didn’t have on my glasses). What was so funny about this bag? Then I put on my glasses and he pointed out to me the text on the zip-lock top: “resealable bag.”

Don’t you wonder what they were thinking? Is it part of the modern drive to label everything in case someone uses it incorrectly and then sues the company, like the silica gel packets in shoe boxes that have “Do not eat” written on them? Or perhaps the commercialized greening of everything in the whole world? You can see those underwear company marketing folks discussing the packaging:

Marketing guy A: “We gotta have a good-looking model on the front, someone who looks like Tom Cruise.”

Marketing guy B: “Maybe we can get Tom Cruise himself!”

Marketing guy A: “Nah, too expensive. We’ll just get a look-alike.”

Marketing guy B: “A zip-lock top would be a classy touch, not like that cheap underwear packaging that people tear off and throw away.”

Marketing guy A: “That’s it! It’ll look great, and we’ll come off as environmentally responsible.”

Marketing guy B: “But how do we get the customer to notice it, so they don’t just tear the bag off and throw it away?”

Marketing guy A: “Look, we’ll just put a tasteful little label on it explaining how it’s used.”

Would you take your lunch sandwich to work in a reused underwear bag? How do you know where it’s been?

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